Covid Special session : Self – Reliance during anxious times

Hugging Club off India invited Dr Roma Kumar to conduct an interactive workshop on managing stress and anxiety during the Covid-19 pandemic.

Dr Roma Kumar is a Senior Clinical Psychologist with a PhD in Clinical Psychology. She has 30 years of work experience as a therapist, author, consultant to hospitals and other philanthropic initiatives. She has authored several articles on managing anxiety during the Covid pandemic, is a senior consultant with Max Hospitals and a founder of Support Group ‘Saksham’ – a child and adolescent guidance clinic. She is working hard to connect people under stress to counsellors and other resources during the pandemic. 

Introduction

The doctor acknowledged that we dealing with crisis. Especially after the second wave of the Covid pandemic people are scared. The situation is not normal and fear is showing up itself in the form of sadness, worry, panic and anxiety. The work from home situation is not allowing us to be distracted and forcing us to overthink of situations beyond our control. In such times, it is important to “self-regulate” oneself and bounce back out of the gloomy environment. 

The internet age is a boon for us during such a crisis. Earlier, the situation was much worse as people couldn’t communicate with each other. During crisis such as 1971, the only way to save one’s life was to hide in trenches for days together. But in the age of internet, we can communicate and support one another. 

The stigma associated with mental health is severe in India. The doctor herself has done studies which proved that many participants are either undergoing or have undergone mental trauma but have not sought psychiatric counselling or help. It is still considered a taboo to express mental health issues in India. 

The Influence of Media

The doctor was very categorical about the issue of media exposure. It is very important to not follow media continuously and believe it blindly. Most of the content on media is propaganda these days and one must choose the information one gets and treat it mindfully instead of getting carried away. The negative news and constant bombardment of covid crisis can have a debilitating effect on the mind. It is emotionally exhausting as it sucks out our energy, making us feeling empty inside.  Everyone is addicted to social media and mindless scrolling is addictive and drains our energy. The negative effects are multiplied during the current pandemic situation causing disturbances in the state of our mind. One must spend as less time on social media as possible. News should be watched once or twice to get information. It is best to avoid analysis, opinions and debates which are rampant on the news channels. Social media should be avoided before sleeping as it can have adverse effect on the quality of sleep. 

Caring for the mind 

The state of happiness can only be achieved by having a healthy body AND a healthy mind. These days there is so much focus on the body that the mind is completely neglected. Our mind needs as much attention and care as our body. In our minds, our thoughts dictate our feelings, and our feelings are expressed in our behavior. Our behavior again influences our thoughts. This is the triangle of mental well- being. It is hence very important to control our thoughts. A good example of this currently is the millions of families who are experiencing stress as they follow news in media.  Our mind is a very powerful and it always believes what we tell it. If we tell or mind that we will test Covid positive, then there is a good chance we will as the mind influences our body. On the other hand, if the mind is programmed to think positively and we stick to Covid appropriate behavior we can keep ourselves safe. 

COVID Protocol

One of the ways to stay positive is to exercise Covid appropriate behavior constantly. These actions will reinforce the feeling of safety allowing us to be relaxed and deal with the stress positively. Though there is unprecedented information available on our palms, it can be very confusing with the information explosion happening in this crisis. One must stick to the protocols for Covid behavior given by the ICMR (Indian Centre for Medical Research) and WHO (World Health Organization) :

1. One must always wear masks outside their residence. In case you are in quarantine or a care-taker you must wear it inside your home too. The mask must be a N-95 or any other Covid protective mask. The mask should cover the nose and mouth completely from the external air. Most people wear the masks below the nose which is not the correct way to wear it. Also, once worn, the mask should not be touched with the hands as the external surface of the mask may be contaminated with the virus. These common glitches should be avoided.
2. Maintain social distancing of at least 2 arms from any other person. When one goes outside it is important to maintain social distance.
3. Always carry a hand sanitizer and use it every time you touch any surface. 

Managing our feelings and emotions

In times of stress or when feeling anxious one must do the 5-4-3-2-1 exercise. The following steps should be followed : 

1. Become aware off your surroundings. 
2. Start taking deep breaths from the abdomen and as you breathe in, in your mind count 1-2-3-4-5. 
3. Then count 1 -2-3-4-5 as you hold your breath. 
4. Then count 1-2-3-4-5 as you release your breath slowly.

This exercise should be repeated 10 times. This is followed by the grounding exercise.

Grounding exercise 

1. Name 5 things you can see around you
2. Name  4 things you can feel
3. Name 3 things you can hear
4. Name 2 things you can smell
5. Compliment yourself with one positive affirmation.  

We have to acknowledge that presently we are in a Survival Zone. These are not normal circumstances. IN order to cope with the situation we require high energy. We have to take care of ourselves and nurture our minds and body. 

Mindfulness

The doctor reiterated that the importance of mindfulness cannot be stressed upon more especially in the present circumstances. Our mind is susceptible to unnecessary thoughts and worries in this period. The mind is worried if it is foreseeing the future, or regretful, if it is in the past. Both these situations create stress and negativity. It is important to be in the present and be mindful of every action. For example, we are unmindful of what we are eating when we eat while watching TV and Netflix. If the mind is constantly thinking of worries and negative thoughts, we are not being mindful. This is unhealthy. Mindfulness is giving complete attention to the task at hand. For ex, we must eat our meals with complete attention to the food without external disturbances. It is extremely important to keep the mind engaged in activity. It is known that an empty mind is a devil’s workshop. Being engaged in work and other physical activity will occupy the mind and there won’t be unnecessary thought of our current situation. The doctor advised that one should not think of more than 3 days into the future. Anything more than that is unhealthy. 

Me-time

One must spend a certain time alone every day. We need to know our emotions and feelings. These emotions and thoughts can then be regulated by reinforcing positive affirmations. When we get up in the morning the mind must be told positive energizing thought. As we know the mind believes what we tell it and if we have a continuous stream of positive thought the mind will be positive and calm. 

Q & A session

Dr Roma was asked many questions by the participants regarding their personal mental health. Some of them are summarized below with her responses:

1. Query : I always look for external validation and I am affected by the judgement passed by people about me; especially by my parents. I feel guilty for not performing in my academics.

Doctor’s response : We must reserve the center of control within us and not give it away to someone else.  If we control or emotions then we will not look for external validation. Or happiness should be in our control validated by us internally. We must always focus on our strengths and not on our weaknesses. If we focus on our strengths our shortcomings will naturally improve.

Academics do not guarantee our performance professionally. It accounts for 10% of it but the rest is determined by our emotional intelligence and how we deal with situations. Communicating our feelings with our parents is key to improving our relationships.

2. Query : How to keep calm in stressful situations at work ? 

Response: Practice the 5-4-3-2-1 breathing exercises. It is important to prepare for the situation. Try to listen and understand the situation and respond accordingly instead of being reactive.

3. Query : I am scared of going to the bathroom at night as I feel someone is there and I will be attacked.

Response: It is important to break the pattern of fear. This can be done by writing it down and creating a flowchart of what can possibly happen. What emotions do you go through at that time?  How can you deal with the situation ? 

Intense emotions last for 90 seconds. During that time one can divert their attention by doing the following:

1. Walk around
2. Take a shower
3. Ask for a warm beverage like a cup of tea and have it.
4. Chant mantras and feel gratitude for your life.

4. Query : I experience trauma whenever I am reminded about being body shamed while growing up. How can I achieve closure ?

Response : The first step is to keep away from triggers that remind you of the past experiences. It is important to accept that everyone is not able to defend oneself in peer shaming situations. The best way to create a coping mechanism is by noting down the learnings from these situations. One should be able to forgive the people who shamed you as they won’t even remember what had happened and the only one getting affected now is you. The doctor suggested long term therapy for the person to achieve closure. 

5. Query :  I feel anxious thinking about the complexities of covid and how it may or may not affect my parents who are easy targets for the virus.

Response : The doctor advised that it is important to follow covid related precautions religiously. These actions will reinforce a feeling of safety. And to be realistic about the disease by understanding that even if one is affected by it, data proves that most people get well. To stop following media as the content shown is very disturbing and mostly incorrect. 

One must stop fixating on Covid and engage in work and other activities. The mind is always looking for evidence to support the story we tell it. The more positive stories we tell our mind the better will be our state of mind.

6. Query : How to deal with sex-addiction during covid ?

Response : One can use pornography as a means of relief. One must engage in activities which give the same level of pleasure. It is important to focus on other activities which keep the mind occupied.

 Guruprasad G B

  Creative writer