Dr Anita Sukhwani renowned psychiatrist of Mumbai , told us all that today I want you to leave all your fears behind n share your life stories with us. So we can see what emotions you experienced and how were you able to handle the crisis. Ma’am started off beautifully saying we humans are emotional beings. And we experience positive emotions like happiness, pride, excitement and also negative emotions like sadness, anxiety, fear, anger, shame, regret etc. It’s normal and natural to feel these emotions .
The key questions are:
Q1. What are you feeling ?
Q2 . Why are you feeling ?
Ma’am shared her own experience of the scare of Covid when her son got it. She gave us few tips to manage our emotions positively. 1. When we are facing a difficulty or problem, we need to calm ourselves down, not panic, identify the emotion we are feeling, we have to be mindful that are we feeling scared, sad, angry, helplessness or anxious. What caused that emotion? Nowadays it’s Covid. This is something which is not in my control. So stop excessive worrying.
2. Concept of Let go: This concept is so liberating . Let go of the anxiety and negative emotions, if things are not in your control.
3. Start focusing on finding solution instead rather than just worrying about the problem. It could be sharing with a friend, mental health prof , family member. Else start writing, journaling helps .This will give clarity of thought and will give you better understanding of thoughts that you are experiencing that moment. You experience a sense of relief and it helps you stay calm. So the need is to release that emotion so one can move ahead.
4. Resilience is most important especially during problems like covid times
Q How can one handle crisis ?
1. Shifting focus from problems to solutions . 2. Building resilience 3. Sharing , gaining clarity so learning coping skills .Many of us shared our experiences. One participant spoke of emotion of anger when he was unfairly kept in an institution by his sister. Ma’am shared that when in the middle of treatment never stop medicines and take guidance from doctor. Ma’am spoke of anger . We all have experienced anger , we react in anger impulsively and later we regret it . Anger makes us do something which we shouldn’t do . One should sip water , walk out of the room , hit a pillow , deep breath or simply distract the mind. Later when we have cooled down one can talk with more clarity. Anger fogs our mind and we become irrational. So we should learn to handle anger in the correct manner .
The second participant spoke of Covid and post Covid experience. Ma’am said we all are scared of the unknown and that makes us anxious , so we need to be mindful and focus on the present. Rather than focusing on past experience or future problems. Things that are in your control do them, for the rest learn to let go. Take practical steps to handle situation. Third participant spoke of his fights with his mom and how past experiences and childhood memories were hurting him. Ma’am said you are experiencing anger. Learn to let go of the emotion & in a positive frame of mind talk with your mother. Don’ t allow yourself to get drawn into negative emotions. Small dose of anti -anxiety medicine will help you. Fourth participant spoke of OCD and the fear he experiences past 9 pm. Mam shared OCD and other mental illnesses like Bi-polar, Schizophrenia, Depression, etc. are related to the brain. It has been scientifically proven that there are structural changes in the brain . There is an imbalance of chemicals like Serotonin and Dopamine . So take appropriate dosage medicines and speak to doc if facing discomfort from 1 year. OCD and anxiety cannot be kept separate . Same thought and action are repeated again and again . Ma’am suggested some de-stressing techniques . She said every person has their own way of relaxing, you have to find yours . Light music , green tea ,chanting ,sipping water . When you do that , you calm down and sleep better. The fifth participant shared that she had been taking depression meds for 20 years but was always waking up with lethargy and less energy in the morning for nearly 2 hours. Ma’am told her to consult doctor and change the timing of medicine , then you will not feel this way in the morning .
Here she told us some important things. Psychotropic medicines have no relation with food, one can take it before meals . When there is absorption better by medicines then the effect won’t last in the morning . So she advised to take medicine before dinner. A question was put forward to doctor i.e. How to deal with attention seeking personality ? Ma’am said we seek others attention, value their opinions when we are not confident about ourselves . So the way we feel about ourselves is very important. Ma’am advised about practicing affirmations and falling in love with ourselves. We need to have faith in our abilities. Build our self esteem and self confidence . When you learn to love yourself first , then you will be able to love people around you. So do introspection and internally learn to value yourself and your opinion. Yet another question was – how does one handle regret ? Doc shared that all of us go through important life events , and we have to take important decisions. Once you take a decision, don’t regret, whatever maybe the consequence of that decision . Eg marriage , career , etc. We can weigh the pros n cons . And believe that, at that moment you took the right decision. Live in the present , appreciate the now .
The sixth participant shared how her father’s late night hospitalization makes her anxious every night , feeling of uncertainty creeps in. Ma’am advised her to seek help now , take one or two therapy sessions so that later it doesn’t transform into anxiety and depression because of this constant worrying. Always remember, when facing a difficult situation , you tried and did your best , rest is not under your control , so keep faith in doc , don’t blame yourself . If something goes wrong , learn to forgive yourself .
Self forgiveness is very important in healing. It helps you take better decisions in the present. Always one thought leads to another so write it , vent it , control your emotions. She emphasised a lot on positive thoughts and affirmations. She gave a useful tip. Whenever a negative thought comes to your mind, write it down,then turn the page and replace it with a positive helpful thought. This will calm you down immediately and you will feel better . The seventh participant spoke of facing crisis in his work life. Ma’am said when you get anxious A. You are not able to focus on your work B. You make mistakes. Stop having negative thoughts about yourself. The way we talk to ourselves , affect the way we feel and that affects the way we act.
Dr Anita , very patiently answered all our queries. She gave us useful tips on how to remain calm in crisis . The concept of Let go , self forgiveness , practicing affirmations and self compassion and love for one self were amazing. She taught us that Yes, we can handle negative thoughts positively . The more skilled we become in controlling our negative emotions and replacing them with positive emotions, the happier we will be .
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