Author: umangadmin

HCI Meet at Amaha Mental Health clinic, Bandra, Mumbai 25 June 2023

We had an enriching discussion with Deepa, psychologist associated with Amaha. Deepa has 13 years of experience in her field and had graciously hosted the event for Hugging Club of India.

The session started off exploring the difference between love and addiction. Neha made an insightful observation that if something you like and indulge in interrupts your day-to-day essential activities repeatedly and you are increasingly giving it priority over people important to you, then it may be becoming an unhealthy obsession.

Following are some other interesting topics that were explored in the discussion:

Coping mechanism after a break up: Going to dating apps immediately after a breakup or getting into random sex with strangers creates a high because at that time you were recently rejected and when another person shows an interest in you, it gives a sense of validation and feeling of being wanted, which gives a temporary high. Instead of that you need to have a support system of real friends who can give honest perspectives or a family of choice with whom you can spend time and discuss your issues. Giving yourself some time is also a healthier coping mechanism.

Feeling overwhelmed or stressed with a large task or project: Try to break the task into smaller measurable steps that you can complete one by one and at the end of a week you would have made good progress. Instead of being stressed out with the thought that I have to finish this large task or project, the idea should be that I need to start these small tasks.

Deepa introduced us to an interesting concept known as Pomodoro technique to avoid procrastination. Keep a focussed schedule for work (say 25 minutes) with breaks in between (maybe, 5 minutes) to recharge yourself and come back to the task and do this repeatedly.  Conditioning your mind to this habit will get the task done more efficiently. After 3 or 4 Pomodoros, take a longish break. If the mind wanders to other thoughts during work time, make a note of those thoughts with the intention to deal with them later so that work time is not interrupted.

Another useful technique is prioritising tasks in to-do lists and strike off the tasks one by one so when we look at it, mentally it gets reassuring that I have completed these.

Over-eating as a response to stress: It is natural bodily instinct to eat when the mood is low because food gives comfort to the body. In a culture of fitness and healthy eating, one may feel guilty of indulging in food. But what can help is mindful eating. Avoid watching TV/Netflix/social media while eating because then you will not realise you are over-eating. Instead, focus on eating. After the first serving, wait for 10 minutes. If you still feel hungry, go ahead with a second serving. This way you don’t make it a battle with your body if it is craving to eat. You will be able to distinguish if it is emotional eating or if it is actually what the body needs. The same logic can be extended to alcohol and drugs too.

Obsession with a to-do list: A rule of thumb is to have maximum 5 things on the list. If your work has lot of deliverables and to-do list is long, colour coding to prioritise items would help.

When you need to fall back on your support system of a friend after a major event (such as grieving a loss), and if that friend has also recently lost someone, it would be a good idea to first check with that person whether he/she is ready to talk with you because they themselves may be mentally processing their own trauma. At such times, it is important to have more than one support system, a diversified support group or it may be advisable to seek professional help.

How to avoid simple day to day addictions like consuming more tea, for example?: A good idea may be to replace tea with another beverage like warm water or green tea or even an apple might be a good idea.

Does addiction reach a stage from where there is no comeback?: Deepa’s emphasised that comeback is always possible as long as the addicted person accepts he/she has the addiction and is willing to make a change. Progress may not be linear for long term addictions. It could be 3 steps forward and 1 step back, so should be viewed as such.

A taboo/stigma that was tackled head-on was addiction to masturbation. Deepa clarified candidly that masturbation is very normal as long as it is not habitual. If someone is feeling that they are habituated to it, they could try a technique to wait for 30 minutes and see if the urge is still as strong as before and if it is not, maybe wait it out.

Procrastination: It is connected to perfectionism. We may procrastinate a task because we want it to be perfect. But perfection is rarely achievable, so it increases anxiety. Our mind delays the task until you simply need to complete the task without thinking about making it perfect. What we can try is to simply setup your work and start that task for 2 minutes, with a timer, if necessary. At the end of it, see if you feel the need to stop doing the task right now or do you continue doing it. It is like tricking the mind that I am trying the work only for 2 minutes so that it does not allow the procrastination feeling to evolve. More often than not, you may notice that part of the work actually gets done.

When does one need professional help for an addiction?

For hard drugs like cocaine, heroin, etc, medical help is needed. For other additions e.g. smoking or drinking try delaying it and it is possible that the frequency may reduce. Another way is to do it mindfully rather than mindlessly. If you know that after the fourth drink, you will not be able to control, stop at the third so you are giving you brain a chance to come back. Breathing exercises can also help.

Toxic environment leading to substance abuse: Deepa suggested alternative coping mechanisms like distracting oneself, going for a walk until things in the environment cool down, listening to music and coming back. Also, work on how you can remove yourself from a perpetually toxic environment. If it is not possible try to negotiate small things in that environment to safeguard your mental peace.

LGBTQIA+ people don’t have a roadmap for their future that straight people do, so they need to create milestones for their own future.

Dating app addiction can be dealt by taking the effort to go out and meet dates in social settings to have a conversation (e.g. coffee shops) or doing activities together (e.g. paintball, bowling, etc) so that the bonding gets built on a deeper level.

How can family members of addicted people deal with the issue when the addict is not ready to give up the addiction?
Addiction erodes the family structure. Difficult decisions need to be taken, such as forced rehabilitation.

In the end, it was an informative and thought provoking discussion and the participants ended the session with a lovely group photo and hugs all around.

-Written by Amit Rai

-Compiled by Amol More

-Edited and posted by Mahrukh

Neha Kirpal, the co-founder of Amaha, a mental healthcare centre, has been listed 40 under 40 most influential people in India. At HCI, she shared her personal narrative -her experience as a mental health caregiver, offering strength and hope to our participants.

Her mom was schizophrenic, and her brother died of suicide in the past. Yet, she did not choose to be a victim and took the responsibility of helping people. Having founded India’s first international art fair and running it successfully for 10 years, she winded it up to turn her attention to the mental health sector to help marginalized society members.

According to Neha people with mental health issues are in crisis. They need a helping hand be it online or offline. She aims at bringing such people together. She feels that families who are also suffering along with mental health patients should have a support system to be able to reach out. She is an active member of HCI group too and is always involved in HCI activities. In her own words, “It’s important to bring down the barrier which circles mental health taboos. The patients should get help at the right time also.”
For supporting people who are in crisis, her organization Amaha has incorporated a large circle of healthcare providers. There are psychiatrists and psychologists who are helping people round the clock. Today, 15000 members are getting online and offline support through Amaha.

In the 1980s and 1990s, Neha struggled a lot to get the right kind of help at the right time. This resulted in her involvement in Amaha, where she took the lead in bringing a change in the mental health sector.

Neha’s mother eventually passed away, but because of her mother’s illness, she learnt a lot to deal with several kinds of mental health illnesses. According to her, addressing the patients as early as possible is the only way to treat them. The earlier you reach the patient the better the chance of recovery.

Amaha has reached around 5 million people through its app. There are a plethora of healthcare workers working with this organization. They offer therapy in 16 to 18 languages. With such stats, we can say that they have literally made a revolution in mental health issues. People can chat, call or email and access online tools 24* 7.

Further, Neha reiterates that since doctors take time to do some sort of experiment in giving the right medicine, the time to adjust the right medicine is a real challenge. Sometimes the problem is difficult to understand. Another issue facing mental health patients is that they are extremely vulnerable. For treating them they need to be taken to the doctors and this becomes a real challenge.

Neha has lost 11 years of childhood as her family life was hugely complicated. Her mom, dad, and brother were all having some or other mental health issues. Still, she managed to keep herself active and productive which acted as a shield for her and enabled her to make a difference. She kept herself going through this rough phase and successfully sailed the rough seas. Whenever she was pushed into the corner, she managed to prove her mettle with flying colors.

So, how did Neha become such a super achiever?

According to Neha she always believed in the power of positivity. If you are willing to accept the circumstances rather than fight them, then most of the problems are overcome. There might be days where we are feeling extremely positive and there are days where circumstances are quite the opposite. We need to be one with ourselves. Whatever happened with her she accepted everything without getting into victim mode.

We also inquired with her about the statistical data available for different medications. She answered that there is a lot of research being done currently. As of now, the medication needs to stand the test of time. Some medicines work on certain patients, some drugs don’t work. Helping people understand the ground reality is very important. Patients can have a combination of one or multiple issues. The treatment is always given as per the patient feedback. Hence the experimentation time is unavoidable.

All in all, it was an enlightening session for all of us at HCI as we understood and gained from Neha’s life experience and felt motivated by her work at Amaha.

• Written by Aniket Kundu
• Co-ordinated by Amol More
• Edited and posted by Mahrukh

Addiction is not a character flaw, it is a mental illness, reiterates Umang Sheth, founder of HCI.

You take help for your breathing problem then why not for your drinking problem?

Our brain is also an organ and it can fall ill too. Just like your physical body, your mind too sometimes needs medical attention and care, so that you can get well soon and show the world that you are beyond your mental illness.

By sharing your stories, your journey to mental wellbeing and the difficulties you have been through, you can inspire others to take positive steps. Your one action can save the lives of many.

So come forth, be courageous and take the effort to make a difference in the lives of many.

We at the Hugging Club of India recently had the pleasure of attending a dance session conducted by Hitesh Dodiya on 14^th May 2023 titled Dance Your Way to Good Health. Hitesh Dodiya, the choreographer who conducted the session has formal training in Jazz, Bollywood, Western, Classical & Semi-classical dance and choreography. This dance session was one of the most exhilarating and enjoyable experiences that most of us have had in a long time.

To regain mental well-being, a combination of formal treatment, lifestyle changes, and family support is necessary. It is also important to strive not only to return to one’s former self but to aim for an even higher level of health. Engaging in new activities with a support group can be a helpful approach.

Activities such as art, dance, indoor games, nature walks, and reading are beneficial for stimulating the brain. These activities provide novelty and challenge, which exercise the brain and promote mental engagement. They also foster a sense of mindfulness, allowing individuals to focus on the present moment and strengthen their minds.

Traditional wisdom recognizes the value of activities in diverting from daily stresses and improving well-being. What we appreciated most about Hitesh’s dance session was the way he made everyone feel at ease. Even though not everyone in the room was an experienced dancer, Hitesh created an atmosphere that was welcoming, non-judgmental, and supportive. He is usually strict with his students, but as this was a more casual setting, where he agreed that he was a bit lenient with our mistakes.

We danced to various genres like Garba with Nagada Sang Dhol, Bollywood with Ghagra from Yeh Jawani Hai Deewani, and ended with Besharam Rang from the movie Pathaan, followed by some more Garba. But what set this dance session apart was Hitesh’s enthusiasm and his infectious smile. His energy was contagious, and he had a way of inspiring everyone in the room to give their all and dance with abandon.

Hitesh Dodiya is a talented and passionate dancer and an excellent teacher. We recommend his dance sessions to anyone looking for a fun, challenging, and rewarding dance experience.

Written by Sean Pinto

Coordinated by Amol More

Edited by Mahrukh

Here’s a summary of the unique online session held on 29^th March 2023.

Ms. Shreya Kulkarni who is the founder of Myndful Mantra and has 9 years of experience in this field, was the psychologist who conducted the session.

She began the session on Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy with the first topic which was about rating oneself.

The parameters given were – looks, kindness, compassion, intelligence & hard-working ability, mental health, and physical health. Participants did not have to give individual marks but were supposed to count the consolidated number. They could rate themselves but not be judgemental about this. These parameters represented our human situational skills. Now the question arose and here is why we evaluate ourselves with lesser marks. Sometimes we are given fewer marks and sometimes more. This raises some questions about ourselves.

Let’s hear a story first of Albert Elis. He was a person with multiple illnesses. He had a phobia of talking to girls. He started one exercise of proposing to 100 girls in one month. Imagine how many of the girls said yes to him. Can you guess? 98 girls straightaway rejected this person. And 2 girls who said yes to him also didn’t turn up at the time while they were about to come for a date. After that, he went to his house. Now he wrote one sentence. The sentence was extremely practical. He never blamed himself for this situation. This person failed 8^th time in the field of public speaking. But finally, at 9^th time he gave such a great talk, after that, he didn’t have to look back. So as a human being, we are invaluable. We must give ourselves full marks at all times. As human beings, we must value ourselves to the most. Since in our day-to-day world, no one is perfect. So, we must ask ourselves where are we lacking? We must have a habit of writing down our problems. We should be able to understand our problems. The founder of the REBT technique has done a lot of research on this. Sometimes we have unreal expectations from the outside world. At times these expectations become a demand in our lives.

We need to understand the difference between expectations and demands from society. Sometimes our parents force us to be in an unhappy marriage. And due to the fear from society, we oblige to this also. Our parents need to understand that getting their son or daughter into forceful marriage is not their only goal. We need to respect the choices of individuals. We can suggest but we should never force others because we follow certain aspects.

No matter how bad the situation happens to anyone, there is always a chance to resurrect. Here in this world, we must accept the fact that we can never make everyone happy. We are not ice cream sellers. We need to make peace with our own choices. My happiness is my responsibility. No one can make us happy if we are not happy from the inside.

So, the take-home message from this session was – We must always give maximum marks to ourselves. And even if there is some failure, we must always try hard to be the best form of ourselves. We must not overthink and even if we are failing, we should never ever give and we need to understand that one failure is not a full stop, it’s just a comma, so be brave and try again. Look at the world, it’s really beautiful and we have come to this world for some reason, so make the most of it.

The session was quite empowering and all the participants truly enjoyed this session.

Report by Aniket

Co-ordination by Amol

Edited by Mahrukh

On 5^th April, 2023, HCI’s founder Umang Sheth hosted an interesting online session with Dr. Wilona Annunciation, a renowned psychiatrist who has helped many people come out of the stigma attached to mental health issues. Dr. Wilona Annunciation is the trainer and founder at Catalyst. She spoke on the topic – Mental Health and its effect on our career and money management was a subject that many participants were awaiting.

Dr. Wilona, in her session, spoke about how people with mental health illnesses feel very much vulnerable. They always fear being judged. When we see some problems related to physical health there is no question. But in the case of mental health, we tend to have a lot of issues. We always talk hush-hush related to mental health issues.

We need to actively fight against the stigma attached to mental health issues. The monetary fact also plays a part in this. Sometimes mental health professional is pricey. But they do give concessions during sessions if they ask for it. No matter how expensive the treatment, we must always ask for help.

Mental health issues have a physical and emotional component. There is some kind of cognitive component too as the mental focus goes down. We need to make sure the mental health practitioner takes care of these issues during sessions. With medication people have several symptoms like skin irritation and low Hb count. We need to take care of these as well.

People suffering from physical and mental abuse should definitely ask for help. People with bipolar disorder have difficulty expressing themselves. They tend to have poor judgment. This impulse control problem is the core issue of bipolar disorder. Persons with a mood disorder, ADHD, or severe anxiety disorder are extremely vulnerable. Financial management is another important aspect of mental health status. Whether we have mental health issues or not we must manage our money for having a good night’s sleep. We must take proper precautions to manage our financial side to keep us physically and emotionally healthy. The idea of compulsive buying is another problem for people. the correct way of dealing with this issue is to wait and give some thought and then go slow and steady.

A lot of LGBT people community people do a lot of compulsive buying to get a dopamine kick. To get rid of these we must practice pause and act. Regulating our emotions comes with practice. So, we need to do a lot of impulse control management. Slowly things will take their own course.

We have no control over things that have happened in the past. But we can always take control of things that are coming in the future. People have their own challenges so never compare yourself with another. This is a trap, so avoid it.

There are medicines to uplift the mood but there is no chance of uplifting the motivational aspect. Following a healthy routine helps a lot on the path to recovery. We must have a fixed time to go to bed and then only we would be able to get up at a particular time. We must start slow and we must try one step at a time. Not everything can be changed overnight but we must have patience. At times we also can feel low and seek help and there is nothing wrong with it.

Another issue with people is procrastination. The first thing to be checked is to set a realistic goal. We must never overstretch our ambitions. If we set some realistic timeline then it would be easy for people to achieve. We must find a suitable time for setting up these goals. If we check our schedule, we must be able to set up some realistic timeline for ourselves.

We must be able to take care of our physical health. A healthy mind can only be found in a healthy body. So, taking care of our health should also be our priority. Because of the Indian toxic work culture, we sometimes are carried away and thus we tend to keep this apart. Indian companies are not very much open to talking about mental health issues. People undergoing severe depression sometimes are not okay with disclosing this situation. But the willingness to share this fact with company people should be checked wisely. Since mental health issues are entirely personal and sensitive, we must be careful about talking about these issues with people.Finally, it is extremely important to bring into open a plethora of mental health issues and to solve them in a better way.  

Overall, the session conducted by Dr. Wilona was an eye-opener for plenty of people tackling mental health issues in their personal life. We are hopeful that in the near future, Indians will be much more open about talking about their personal mental health issues in public without much fear of being judged.

Report by Aniket

Co-ordination by Amol

Edited by Mahrukh

On 4th Jan’23, HCI held an interesting discussion about making genuine human connections.
Here is a short report on the same, which we hope you will find enriching

If you are looking for good friends, why they need to be good looking?

If you are getting hurt by rejection, aren’t you also rejecting someone?

We had a very interesting session regarding “People Looking For Sex On Dating Apps, And Not Willing Or Wanting To Get Into a Relationship”, let alone Committing to one. Lots of great thoughts and perspectives.

The discussion started off by a consensus among participants about Dating Apps, like Tinder, Grinder, etc. where 70% of app users are on these apps, looking for sex, as if these are not Dating Apps, and have become more of Sex Seeking Apps, over a period of time since when they were launched. These Apps seem so far away from what they were initially intended for, and this further leads to disappointment and hopelessness among users, due to frequent rejections and blocks, on the basis of something as superficial, as to how someone’s physical appearance is!

Not taking away the fact that these Apps have also become a haven for fradusters and cheats, where innocent users, who are not comfortable in coming out openly to their parents and peers, or are still in the process of talking about their sexuality openly, are subjected to blackmailing and extortion, where they are threatened to be exposed, if ‘large sums of money are not paid to these thieves’.

Another point of view put forward was, where it was felt that not everyone on those dating apps, were there for sex. They were there, looking for something beyond sex, may be to have a conversation or simply to have a Human to Human Chat, and not necessarily looking for judgements or counselling.

During the discussion, for once, it seemed that sex is being looked upon as something bad or cheap or something less dignified. However, another perspective came about, where sex was just another basic human need, and should not be looked at as something separate and should not be shamed as an act lesser than any other human interaction !

This further took the discussion to the general belief in society, that it’s ok to have sex, if it is between Heterosexual Couples, no matter with how many partners one chooses to but is loudly pointed out and shamed as ‘Dirty’, when it’s between ‘Same Sex Couples’. Where Umang famously added in Hindi that “Tum Karo To Chamatkar, Aur Hum Karein To B*TR”, it broke everyone into a big laugh 😂

Intellectualisation of the process of choosing a life partner, was another aspect that was discussed, especially in terms of the homosexual community, where people from the same community, were looked down upon for not being educated enough, or not being able to speak fluent English ! Even though, they come across as the nicest, humble and down to earth human beings.

All in all, the discussion ended with the thought of ‘Live and Let Live’, where the need of the hour, was to create more safe spaces to express !

– Report by Kapil Chikhalikar

– Edited and uploaded by Mahrukh

HCI 5th Anniversary session with Dr. Harish Shetty on 2nd October 2022

Renowned psychiatrist Dr. Harish Shetty addressed HCI participants in a live and interactive session on the occasion of HCI’s 5th anniversary. Here are some excerpts from the session.

1. Happiness is a myth. Be grateful for whatever you have now.

2. How we start our day is very important. Start your day with charging a part of your brain which releases good chemicals. One should try & help somebody & also be willing to take someone’s help. A feeling of connectedness is very crucial in mental wellness.

3. Taking a deep breath helps to mitigate anger, pushes one’s health to safe mode & makes the body feel relaxed.

4. When we breathe deeply we learn how to deal with anger and our feelings. It helps us in coping with unfortunate events like someone’s demise, financial problems & job loss.

5. Rational thinking keeps our mental health on track even in difficult times. It can help us in seeking solutions for our own problems.

6. It is important to maintain honesty. It plays a role in making our mind peaceful. Spirituality creates a sense of belongingness amongst human beings.

7. Communication, contact & connectedness help us to mingle with people. Being in regular touch with people & understanding each other promotes mental wellness.

– Session transcribed by Rev

– Edited and published by Mahrukh

Mental Health Experts Talk About Their Own Mental Health Challenges in the first of its kind initiative by the Hugging Club of India

Psychiatrist Dr Nilesh Shah talks about his anxiety attacks & over-anxious personality in conversation with Umang Sheth – founder of The Hugging Club Of India on 1st October’22.

Dr Nilesh Shah explained that in the past, people often thought that if they would meet a psychiatrist they would be considered mad . There has been stigma to meet a psychiatrist as they were considered the ones who treat mad people and due to that people didn’t meet them even they needed help .

The doctor explained that he also suffered from an over-anxious personality since childhood. He didn’t notice it earlier but later he realized about this aspect of his personality .

He used to reach quite early to the railway station or any event to avoid anxiety. Similarly, he used to reach hours ago in marriages too . He further explained that there are always deep rooted reasons for anxiety as he elaborated about ANTS (ie automatic negative thoughts ) in his case. He often assumed various negative possibilities and to avoid them, he tried to reach earlier in events. He also felt a little cautious that people may talk negatively about him if he would get late , and would think he is careless since he is a renowned psychiatrist . Yet there is difference between probability and possibility. Like if one goes for an event an hour ago where they are supposed to reach in 20 minutes by vehicle , the probability will be 1 in 100 that they may get late yet if they will have ANTs in their mind ie automatic negative thoughts , they will assume that they can get late and due to that they could reach quite earlier to avoid anxiety related to those automatic negative thoughts .

He managed his anxiety disorder with the help of family members, friends and with his awareness about possibility ( which could be due to automatic negative thoughts ) and probability. Anyone can develop psychiatric disorders. It depends on their genes , susceptibility and nature where they are in. People often assume that psychiatrists or psychologists have chosen this field because they also had a disorder. This is not necessarily true. It could be just a choice of profession due to interest or for building a career. Many psychiatrists may be open about their mental health challenges and disorders like anxiety disorder, OCD or past depression that may help them connect with patients and make them feel little comfortable. However, they may not feel comfortable about opening up if they suffer from Schizophrenia , Bipolar , BPD , or other addictions like alcohol or substance due to negative judgments . His profession, clients and work didn’t get affected by his anxiety disorder because he had reached earlier to take class or attend meetings, besides that he has been good at his work. So it didn’t affect his work negatively .

People stigmatized therapy and assumed that they could not be helped in their anxiety, mental and emotional health . They could not understand how just going to the therapist and venting out or crying can be helpful. They can also cry themselves but actually with the right sort of medications and counselling techniques, there could be a lot of help in anxiety and mental health, the good doctor concluded.

If you wish to listen to the entire recording of this session, visit this Youtube link:

– Transcribed by Rev

– Edited and published by Mahrukh

A Discussion with Psychologist Praneeta Sharma

29th June 2022

HCI had an interesting session on a topic that has been on the minds of many of us. Here are some highlights of this online Zoom session conducted by well-known clinical psychologist Praneeta Sharma

1. Love is a feeling which most of us experience when we feel attached to someone. Sometimes with love also comes rejection. We need to consider the change open heartedly.

2. Whenever we feel we are replaced by someone in our relationship all we can do ourselves is to know that everyone’s choice is different. If we can convince ourselves by knowing about that we can be dear to ourselves.

3. Its not our fault if someone has rejected us. We can reframe our thoughts just by having self love, self esteem and self confidence.

4. One should understand that ‘We are good enough to face the rejection.’ We need to stop blaming ourselves for whatever has happened.

5. When we are rejected, a sense of ego develops which is not good and we need to refocus on our anger, sadness and feelings of being shattered.

6. We must understand our feelings, i.e. we need to rephrase that we are worthy enough instead of thinking about our weaknesses like emotional pain, suicidal thoughts and feeling of abandonment by someone.

7. We can develop the skill of dealing with our own problems, self love and affection to be practised to become stronger.

8. We should prevent the urge of drinking alcohol, picking up bad habits and self harm and one should consider choosing healthy habits. There will be ups and downs while experiencing rejection and we need to rationalise our thoughts that occur because of rejection.

9. The most positive ways to dealing with rejection can be refocusing and learning, reframing our thoughts.

10. Consuming alcohol and any substances is not good for health and it will affect our life in the long run. Consuming alcohol, getting into casual sex, harming oneself to forget the bad things that have happened in life are temporary solutions. Practising bad habits can make us impulsive. We need to know what is right and what is wrong for our overall self development.

11. Instead of blocking yourself from emotions, you need to feel those emotions, Allow yourself to feel good and let the emotions come in the forefront, give yourself some time, then move on. Don’t try to hide or push away the thoughts. Those disturbing feelings won’t last long. Believe in yourself and this time will also pass .

12. Face your mental challenges and slowly you will feel better. If you don’t allow yourself to heal, those challenges can come in other forms.

13. Understand that the feeling of grief or loss after losing someone is normal and don’t try to find out reasons for whatever you went through.

14. Accept your sadness and fear knowing that everything will end soon.

15. Always think of pain as waves. There will be times of feeling better. Ups and downs are just a phase and they will be there. Accept the things troubling you and the stages of grief will slowly go away. Give yourself time to heal.

16. Start gathering good social support around you for sharing your worries with friends or any closed ones. Sharing is the key for feeling better. Ask for help without hesitance.

17. Stop blaming yourself. Don’t think that you are not a good enough person.

18. Remember every relationship is a two way street.

19. Have faith in yourself.

19. Use your own reasoning for personal growth. Rationalise your thoughts. We can’t force someone to like us. Not all rejections are bad, some rejections teach us good things.

20. Practice self care. Do the work which keeps you engaged and healthy. Your daily routine can be improved. Be kind to yourself.

21. Let go of feeling negative, ruminating thoughts which keep troubling you. Seek medical help if required.

22. Choose what uplifts you whenever you feel negative. Don’t hurt yourself.

23. If you are not fitting in other people’s space it doesn’t mean you are wrong or something is wrong with you.

24. Dating apps or sites are never an option to feel better. It will make us arrogant. We can’t convince the people over there who are hurting you. Better come out from these toxic things. Every person has their own troubles in life.

25. Set healthy boundaries. You also need to feel safe in relationships. If in any relationship you feel insecure, let it go.

– Transcribed by Darshan Palekar

– Compiled by Amol More

-Edited and posted by Mahrukh