On 4th Jan’23, HCI held an interesting discussion about making genuine human connections.
Here is a short report on the same, which we hope you will find enriching
If you are looking for good friends, why they need to be good looking?
If you are getting hurt by rejection, aren’t you also rejecting someone?
We had a very interesting session regarding “People Looking For Sex On Dating Apps, And Not Willing Or Wanting To Get Into a Relationship”, let alone Committing to one. Lots of great thoughts and perspectives.
The discussion started off by a consensus among participants about Dating Apps, like Tinder, Grinder, etc. where 70% of app users are on these apps, looking for sex, as if these are not Dating Apps, and have become more of Sex Seeking Apps, over a period of time since when they were launched. These Apps seem so far away from what they were initially intended for, and this further leads to disappointment and hopelessness among users, due to frequent rejections and blocks, on the basis of something as superficial, as to how someone’s physical appearance is!
Not taking away the fact that these Apps have also become a haven for fradusters and cheats, where innocent users, who are not comfortable in coming out openly to their parents and peers, or are still in the process of talking about their sexuality openly, are subjected to blackmailing and extortion, where they are threatened to be exposed, if ‘large sums of money are not paid to these thieves’.
Another point of view put forward was, where it was felt that not everyone on those dating apps, were there for sex. They were there, looking for something beyond sex, may be to have a conversation or simply to have a Human to Human Chat, and not necessarily looking for judgements or counselling.
During the discussion, for once, it seemed that sex is being looked upon as something bad or cheap or something less dignified. However, another perspective came about, where sex was just another basic human need, and should not be looked at as something separate and should not be shamed as an act lesser than any other human interaction !
This further took the discussion to the general belief in society, that it’s ok to have sex, if it is between Heterosexual Couples, no matter with how many partners one chooses to but is loudly pointed out and shamed as ‘Dirty’, when it’s between ‘Same Sex Couples’. Where Umang famously added in Hindi that “Tum Karo To Chamatkar, Aur Hum Karein To B*TR”, it broke everyone into a big laugh 😂
Intellectualisation of the process of choosing a life partner, was another aspect that was discussed, especially in terms of the homosexual community, where people from the same community, were looked down upon for not being educated enough, or not being able to speak fluent English ! Even though, they come across as the nicest, humble and down to earth human beings.
All in all, the discussion ended with the thought of ‘Live and Let Live’, where the need of the hour, was to create more safe spaces to express !
– Report by Kapil Chikhalikar
– Edited and uploaded by Mahrukh