A Discussion with Psychologist Praneeta Sharma
29th June 2022
HCI had an interesting session on a topic that has been on the minds of many of us. Here are some highlights of this online Zoom session conducted by well-known clinical psychologist Praneeta Sharma
- Love is a feeling which most of us experience when we feel attached to someone. Sometimes with love also comes rejection. We need to consider the change open heartedly.
2. Whenever we feel we are replaced by someone in our relationship all we can do ourselves is to know that everyone’s choice is different. If we can convince ourselves by knowing about that we can be dear to ourselves.
3. Its not our fault if someone has rejected us. We can reframe our thoughts just by having self love, self esteem and self confidence.
4. One should understand that ‘We are good enough to face the rejection.’ We need to stop blaming ourselves for whatever has happened.
5. When we are rejected, a sense of ego develops which is not good and we need to refocus on our anger, sadness and feelings of being shattered.
6. We must understand our feelings, i.e. we need to rephrase that we are worthy enough instead of thinking about our weaknesses like emotional pain, suicidal thoughts and feeling of abandonment by someone.
7. We can develop the skill of dealing with our own problems, self love and affection to be practised to become stronger.
8. We should prevent the urge of drinking alcohol, picking up bad habits and self harm and one should consider choosing healthy habits. There will be ups and downs while experiencing rejection and we need to rationalise our thoughts that occur because of rejection.
9. The most positive ways to dealing with rejection can be refocusing and learning, reframing our thoughts.
10. Consuming alcohol and any substances is not good for health and it will affect our life in the long run. Consuming alcohol, getting into casual sex, harming oneself to forget the bad things that have happened in life are temporary solutions. Practising bad habits can make us impulsive. We need to know what is right and what is wrong for our overall self development.
11. Instead of blocking yourself from emotions, you need to feel those emotions, Allow yourself to feel good and let the emotions come in the forefront, give yourself some time, then move on. Don’t try to hide or push away the thoughts. Those disturbing feelings won’t last long. Believe in yourself and this time will also pass .
12. Face your mental challenges and slowly you will feel better. If you don’t allow yourself to heal, those challenges can come in other forms.
13. Understand that the feeling of grief or loss after losing someone is normal and don’t try to find out reasons for whatever you went through.
14. Accept your sadness and fear knowing that everything will end soon.
15. Always think of pain as waves. There will be times of feeling better. Ups and downs are just a phase and they will be there. Accept the things troubling you and the stages of grief will slowly go away. Give yourself time to heal.
16. Start gathering good social support around you for sharing your worries with friends or any closed ones. Sharing is the key for feeling better. Ask for help without hesitance.
17. Stop blaming yourself. Don’t think that you are not a good enough person.
18. Remember every relationship is a two way street.
19. Have faith in yourself.
19. Use your own reasoning for personal growth. Rationalise your thoughts. We can’t force someone to like us. Not all rejections are bad, some rejections teach us good things.
20. Practice self care. Do the work which keeps you engaged and healthy. Your daily routine can be improved. Be kind to yourself.
21. Let go of feeling negative, ruminating thoughts which keep troubling you. Seek medical help if required.
22. Choose what uplifts you whenever you feel negative. Don’t hurt yourself.
23. If you are not fitting in other people’s space it doesn’t mean you are wrong or something is wrong with you.
24. Dating apps or sites are never an option to feel better. It will make us arrogant. We can’t convince the people over there who are hurting you. Better come out from these toxic things. Every person has their own troubles in life.
25. Set healthy boundaries. You also need to feel safe in relationships. If in any relationship you feel insecure, let it go.
– Transcribed by Darshan Palekar
– Compiled by Amol More
-Edited and posted by Mahrukh