Third Anniversary special with a Brave Star

She is the perfect role model, inspiring us and motivating us to look forward to life’s challenges and make the best of given opportunities. On HCI’s second anniversary, our zoom session was graced by her courageous inputs and a host of participants who couldn’t get enough of the ‘Wonder Woman’ of India – SUDHA CHANDRAN

After overcoming the trauma of an accident and the consequent amputation of her leg, she has emerged as a winner in life. There are chapters on her inspirational stories in school curricula. Just make a Google search and Wikipedia search about her and you will know her inspirational story and various awards & accolades won by her. 

https://www.wikiwand.com/en/Sudha_Chandran#

Most of us know her as a TV and film industry persona but many do not know that she is the same person whose life story is mentioned in text books too. Due to this zoom meet, we were fortunate to know what a beautiful person she is as a human being, …. a complete opposite to the characters she plays on screen as vamp. She is very down to earth, straight forward, practical and emotional. She has no airs of being a celebrity and interacted with the participants very cordially. She has the warmth of friendliness and genuineness in her interactions. She connected with old and young participants with equal enthusiasm. While conversing, she put them at ease by her humane approach. Some even expressed that they were even more impressed with this aspect of her personality. The interaction during this session was in the form of questions and answers.

Question: How did you overcome the trauma you faced in such an early stage of life?

I too felt very low after the incident, Then I realised that I had two choices — To live with it or live without it. I had two choices — to move on or to remain there and be a loser. I chose to move on. My parents’ support helped me to move on. I looked at them and decided I will make them feel proud by moving forward in life. I did not want it to be a losing battle. My mother taught me to keep trying and said we are with you. Then I decided that, I will dance..Dance with a Jaipur foot.

Question: How did you consistently not give up? Did people ever put you down?

People did not just push me down; they crushed me down. When I expressed my desire to dance, people laughed at me. They said, she is mentally disoriented to think like that.

Only my faith in God or almighty above, made it  possible. When I felt like giving up, I looked at my parents. I could see self-dejection in their eyes. Like every other parent, they wanted me to do the best in my life. They used to cry secretly over my misfortune. Then I made a promise; I prayed to God to give me one opportunity where I had a chance to stand for my parents and world will say that – they are Sudha Chandran’s parents. I asked for one chance but God was very large hearted and gave me many opportunities. 

Apart from that I believe that I am born with a purpose. Otherwise these things would not have happened. 

Secondly, positivity within me was much more than the negativity around. At night I used to go to sleep, thinking that I will not be able to do anything. But the next morning, I would be up again and charged; and I would say to myself that – I can do it and I will do it. You have to give assurances to yourself that you can do it — and then don’t care a damn about the world or what they say.

Question: Who is your inspiration?

My failures are my inspirations. I call myself a phoenix who rises from ashes. Every time I am pushed 100 steps down, I make sure that I rise above by 300 steps.

Question: When your mother was terminally ill; you had to manage your work and caring for her. How did you keep yourself going during that difficult time?

That time I thought, beggars cannot be choosers. It was a very difficult time for me. I used to be with my mother the whole day and perform my professional work in night shifts. God beautifully planned my work and timings. I prayed to the God that I want to be by the side of mother when she passes away. God listened to my prayers. When my mother passed away, I was holding her hand and she blessed me when she left this world.

Question: Tell us about your struggle in Bollywood. How did you face the struggles and pains?

You have only two choices. Either do it or die.[ या तो करो या मरो,]. I always feel that, life is beautiful. We are blessed to be alive. This life is God’s gift to us. So when he does something to your life; there must be some purpose behind that. So never ever question God; why did you do this to me. There might be some reason. Have some patience. It is quite possible that, you get some answer or explanation after a very long period. That was my faith. I had periods of failure & times of pain when I felt I would not be able to bear them, but I do not know from where I got that strength to bear. May be it’s the blessings of God or maybe it was the strength provided by my parents. I do not know. But I just moved on.

Question: How do you deal with painful incidents from the past?

I am a very practical person. Emotion has it’s own corner in my life. But when I come to work; I focus totally on learning new things and doing my best in my job. I live the beautiful moments of film making.  I do not give any attention to other things. They are inconsequential for me.

We have very limited time to live. If I keep asking questions about my past to myself, I am just wasting my time. We do not have answers to many such questions about the past. Instead of seeking answers to those questions, live the beautiful life which is in your hands. Live your life fully. Everyone has to leave this world one day or the other but at the end of the day what matters is what you are leaving behind. It is my thinking that after I leave this life, if  and on a later date if some one remembers me for a good reason, then I have lived a life which was worthwhile.

Question: How do you deal with the fear of future, fear of failure and self-doubt?

I never had self-doubt. I never doubted my credentials. If I doubt about something, then I do not take that path.

Everyone is afraid of the future. But if you make that the most important point in life; then you cannot live. Because, no one knows what will happen in future. You have to be very strong. अगर आप डर गये, तो आप मर गये, कितने दिन आप डर के बैठोगे,?  By thinking about your future, you will spoil your present. In the end, you are neither living in present, nor will you be able to live in the future. Because, by the time you come to the future, you are very much disturbed due to the thoughts; so much so that, you are not able to see the beautiful future that is coming in front of you. Many a times we miss our opportunities because of that.

Question: We saw in a movie that your Jaipur foot stump used to bleed but you still continued to dance. Sometimes, we do not feel like going to office when we are afraid of our boss scolding us or sometimes we do not have the zest to go to office. What should we do at that time?

Many a times when you inflict pain on yourself, it helps you in the long run. When we become successful, then we can say I deserve the success. I have inflicted so much pain on myself to reach this point. It keeps me grounded. There are times when I feel that, I cannot do something; then I think that it would be unfair on my part to bunk the work. Your producer has invested so much on the show, he trusts you. Your life is not that much important for you now, because you are now a public property. You are working for someone else. They have so many options. They have 3000 options. If they are choosing you, it means that they respect your art; they have confidence that you are a professional… come what may; Sudha Chandran will be there bang on at 9 O’clock for a 9 o’clock shift. If do not feel like going; then think about your employer. If you will not go, he will not survive; and if he does not survive, how will you survive?… because it’s a chain.

It’s not about:  I, me, and myself. You have to think about people around you. There is life beyond your own life. You are connected with so many people. When that thought comes in your mind; you will stop thinking  की —- आज मेरे से नहीं होगा, मैं क्यू जाउं?  कैसे उठू? —- कुछ नहीं होता — सबेरे उठके ब्रश करो, लो बोरिया बिस्तर और निकलो काम पर —

Question: What do you do to take care of your physical and mental health?

I meditate a lot, especially when I feel low. I connect myself to the higher power and pray to God that just wade me through this. Let this not engulf my mind. Let them come and let them just go. At that time, I just make sure that I just shut myself. . or I go to bathroom and cry my heart out. I never cry in public.  Because; I do not want people to understand my sorrow. I go to bathroom and cry fully. Then I come out as fresh and start my job or other works.

Question: You are so down to earth and you are so grounded and humble. How do you manage keeping yourself so grounded and humble? How do you connect with common people so free flowingly?

I come from a middle class family. My father taught me one thing. — Never look down to the people below you and you have to thank God that, you are at least 1 percent higher than them. Never look up to people because, they already have money. Try to help those people who are below you. Look at them and you will understand that God has really blessed you. You have— दो वक्त की रोटी और मकान—  Secondly, my mother taught me the value of money. When you do not know the value of money, then – when you earn lot of money; you start to splurge. You start to think  की बॉस मैं सेलेब्रिटी हूँ, — my mother taught me one thing—when I was small and when I used to ask for a new frock, which at that time would cost ₹.100, my mother used say– See your father goes to work at 8 in the morning and comes back at 7.30 in the evening, to make little money. Is that frock important for us or is that one meal important for us? So obviously, the meal was more important. So even today, when I spend money; I think 100 times to pull out the money from my purse.–  मुझे चाहीये या नहीं चाहीये —   this is what I am – आज पैसा है, शोहरत है–, but this pandemic has taught that it’s worth nothing. What could you achieve with all that money in your hand, in these 6 months of pandemic?. 

Question: How has Bharatnatyam helped you to in emoting better and connecting?  Bharatnatyam style is different from Bollywood. Has it helped in Bollywood dancing or hampered your free flowing dancing?

I have always been a learner in my life. Bharatnatyam has really helped me in my acting; especially in expressing through eyes. Whatever new forms, I come across, I always try to learn them. It is very important that you keep growing.

Question: I have pessimistic thoughts. Tell me how I can bring in positivity in my life.

There is no hard and fast rule of positivity. It is how you place yourself in that particular situation. Your situation may be different from mine. But just see that you don’t get too hyper about the things or don’t get too anxious about the things. If you get too hyper or too anxious, clarity of thoughts will not come. So if you are getting multiple thoughts at some time, then at that particular time, don’t decide anything. Take your time.  Stay alone. Understand the situation. Try to analyse and cross analyse. I personally feel that you are your best teacher. At that time, lot of people will be telling you lot of things. Take in whatever you want. But don’t take a decision at that point of time. Stay awake at night. Before you go to bed for ten minutes, just think – What should I do in this situation? If I do this what will happen? You can answer your questions, because you understand your situation better than anybody. It is not a matter of positivity or negativity. The point is the clarity of the thoughts. Best time for this is the time of isolation. It could be in the afternoon. In 24 hours take out 15 to 20 minutes of isolation, to think about what is your problem. What are the questions that have gone unanswered or where you are not having the clarity? Your mind is your best teacher. It will teach you. It will show you the way. But you should have the guts to follow it., That is positivity for me.  This is  positivity of your nature. Come what may, देखा जायेगा.

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Some WONDERFUL QUOTES BY CELEBRITY SUDHA CHANDRAN during our interactive session

I am not a celebrity, I am an ordinary human being who has fought lot of battles in my life and won few of them.

“If you take inspiration from somebody like me, make sure that you also inspire the next generation. The link has to move on. It should not stop.”

“I don’t cry in public because I want to share my happiness and not the sorrow with the world.“