Introduction

Dr. Nivedita, a counsellor, art-based therapist, and scholar with a PhD in Social Work and a Master’s in Nalanda Buddhist philosophy, was invited by HCI (Hugging Club Initiative) to speak on mental health. Known for her humility, compassion, and practical wisdom, she emphasizes moving beyond conceptual learning to embodied practice. Her session focused on using the lockdown as an opportunity for deep inner work—what she calls “mind safai” (mental decluttering)—rather than just first-aid healing.

Core Philosophy: Interdependence and Inner Control

Dr. Nivedita lives and teaches *interdependence*—the understanding that our well-being is connected to others and our environment. Yet, she offers a liberating insight: **what others think of you is not in your control**. Similarly, while external situations (like insults or lockdowns) are often beyond our control, our internal responses can be trained. She encourages people not to dwell on hurt or insults for minutes, days, or weeks, but to consciously work on their reactions.

The Lockdown as a Gift of Time

Participants shared feelings ranging from boredom, loneliness, and anxiety to opportunity, self-exploration, and family time. Dr. Nivedita acknowledged the range but reframed the lockdown as a rare chance to turn inward. With external outlets gone—movies, cafés, social gatherings—the mind’s internal drama becomes visible, especially through social media comparison, lack of validation, and restlessness. She urged the audience to use this time to move from conceptual understanding (“samajh aa gaya”) to real embodiment and practice.

The Emotion Wheel and Root Emotions

She introduced the Emotion Wheel, which categorizes six root emotions: fear, anger, sadness, surprise, joy, and love. While everyone desires to stay in joy or love, the wheel often spins faster due to external triggers, leading to mood swings and frustration. The goal is not to avoid negative emotions but to stabilize the wheel by controlling internal factors. For example, fear can range from nervousness to panic; awareness of these nuances helps in moving toward contentment, optimism, and enthusiasm.

The Clap Metaphor: External + Internal = Emotional Response

A central teaching was the clap metaphor: just as a clap requires two hands, suffering arises from the meeting of an external factor (e.g., a parent upset with you, no one to talk to) and an internal factor (your current mental state, needs, or perceptions).

She illustrated this with the example of an 18°C AC room:

–Initially, it feels perfect after sweltering heat.

– After 10 minutes, it becomes too cold.

– If pleasure were only in the external factor, 18°C would always feel good. But it doesn’t, because internal factors (body temperature, fatigue, health) change.

Thus, emotional responses are not caused by the outside alone. This is empowering because **we can work on the internal factor**—especially when external situations are unchangeable, like a lockdown.

The Leather of the Earth: A 7th-Century Wisdom

Citing the Indian scholar Shantideva, Dr. Nivedita reminded the audience: 

Where will you find enough leather to cover the earth? Would it not be wiser to cover your own two feet instead?”

We cannot control all external problems (infinite as they are), but we can control our inner reactions. This shift—from blaming the world to managing one’s mind—brings hope and agency.

Self-Reflection Requires Self-Compassion

Before any introspection, she gave a crucial warning: suspend judgment. Our usual habit is to label everything as good or bad, which leads to self-criticism (“I goofed up again”). Instead, she recommended using the words helpful or not helpful in relation to one’s goals. The goal at this moment is simple: to be happy and to move deeper.

She advised:

– Sit for self-reflection when calm and not too full (to avoid sleep).

– Notice your critical voice and gently set it aside.

– Be honest, but only because compassion comes first.

Real-Time Example: Managing a Technical Glitch

When a participant asked her to increase volume, Dr. Nivedita demonstrated self-regulation live. Instead of getting irritated (“What the hell? I’m already late!”), she recognized that such thoughts would spiral into losing the session’s thread, causing a crappy ending, self-blame, and blaming others. By shifting to “What is helpful right now?” she maintained composure and focus. This illustrated how **continuous mind-cleaning**—not just on bad days—builds control over responses.

Anger and Thought Loops

She shared a personal insight: even after years of work, anger can still arise. She noticed that when angry, her mind runs the same episode in a loop, increasing heart rate and breath changes. This is like stoking a fire. Her practice now is to replace the loop with awareness of the other person’s positive qualities. This does not deny the irritation but prevents damage to health and relationships.

She compared the thought process to a monkey or a child—unruly but trainable with patience and compassion.

Key Takeaways

1. Healing your mind begins with knowing your mind.
2. External situations are not the sole cause of suffering; internal factors matter equally.
3. When you cannot change the outside, change your response.
4. Use helpful/not helpful instead of good/bad to avoid self-judgment.
5. Self-compassion is the foundation of honest self-reflection.
6. The lockdown is an opportunity for mental decluttering and deeper learning.
7. Change is gradual; don’t expect instant clarity. Practice daily.

Conclusion

Dr. Nivedita’s session was a masterclass in applied psychology rooted in Buddhist philosophy and modern counselling. She transformed the lockdown from a period of helplessness into a powerful invitation for inner growth. Her emphasis on interdependence, self-compassion, and the clap metaphor offers a practical, hopeful path for anyone seeking emotional stability and genuine healing.